Shape Up
“[Lena Dunham is] sending a message out to people saying it’s OK, stay fat, get diabetes, everybody die. Lose your fingers… If you look the way you look, Lena, and that’s fine and you’re funny, don’t say it’s okay that other girls can look like this. Try to look better.”
–Fashion Police host Joan Rivers, speaking her mind on Girls creator and actress Lena Dunham during an interview with Howard Stern.
Hogwild in Washington
“I’m Jonie Ernst. I grew up castrating hogs on an Iowa farm, so when I get to Washington, I’ll know how to cut pork… I approve this message because Washington’s full of big spenders. Let’s make ‘em squeal!”
– Iowa State Senator Jonie Ernst, introducing herself as the prime Republican candidate to represent Iowa in the U.S. Senate in a campaign video.
#Blessed
“’Anybody need anything?’ asks the agelessly glamorous, apricot-skinned Kris, fluttering eyelashes as thick, long, and lustrous as a hummingbird’s wings.”
– Vogue‘s international editor at large Hamish Bowles, writing a bizarre description of Kris Kardashian in the magazine’s profile of Kimye.
Selfie Sorrows
“They are this horrible thing where you are distorted. The chin is too big, the head is too small. No, this is electronic masturbation.”
– Karl Lagerfeld, lamenting the selfie.
Legally Busty
“If you could try a case, and you have an asset which is a great body and a great figure, you’ve got to do everything you can to be successful. So if it means somebody in the jury is going to be swung to your side because of the fact that you work out, then go ahead and do it!”
– Fox News Host Brian Kilmeade, who found himself in hot water after commenting on how much skin female lawyers should show in the courtroom.
