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Meet Oliver, Charlotte Ronson’s Dog

The designer’s Chihuahua on life in the lap of luxury

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It was a breezy Southern California day and I’d been in the joint—by which I mean the pet store at the Beverly Center; fine, it could’ve been worse—for three days too long when I saw them: the Ronson sisters. I had been feeling a little down and out, so to speak. Have you ever been behind bars? It does nothing for your mental health. I turned away from the housewife who’d been checking me out to give the twins the eyes. I’m not typically rude. I just know what I like and I go for it.

Otherwise, I am impeccably behaved. I have never, not once, gotten into a fight. I try to keep it classy in honor of my namesake, Oliver Twist—you know, the Dickens character. Charlotte and Samantha loved Dickens as little girls. He was a very important writer. I’m a writer, too. I post to Facebook all day long; I’ve got 227 friends. That’s 225 more than the typical Chihuahua. And I’m a model. Charlotte is a fashion designer—you’ve heard of her, yes?—and she cast me in one of her campaigns. Overnight, I became a superstar. I was on billboards all around Tokyo, and you know how the Japanese can get about petite dogs. After that, I couldn’t go anywhere without being recognized. Someone even set up an imposter Twitter feed in my name. Fame can be a total bitch.

Being an icon also means I have to look my best at all times. It’s not hard. My number one rule: If it’s raining, it’s not for Oliver. Unlike most dogs, who have fur, Chihuahuas have hair. Ralph Lauren is my favorite designer (don’t tell C). My chunky green Ralph sweater gets me lots of compliments, because green is my best color. People say I look “darling” and “adorable,” but I don’t know what they’re talking about. I think Ralph makes me look supermanly. I bet you would agree, yes?

Portrait: Greg Byers; All Other Photos Courtesy of Charlotte Ronson