In the case of singer-songwriter Lowen, born Emily Kopp, the story behind her latest song and music video goes far beyond the music. A romantic wordsmith, Lowen released “Morning, Mourning” and with it came a flood of emotions. The bravery that lives behind Lowen’s words is impenetrable and her reality is now the music we can’t stop playing through our headphones. Lowen shared her thoughts on her very personal song and newly released music video. See below for the singer’s words and the official video for “Morning, Mourning.”
I fell in love at 17 with someone I was with for nearly eight years. We’d grown together, and our relationship had gone through many seasons as we went from teenagers off to college, into young adults out in the real world. During those years, I’d been touring, playing bar gigs, and working at a music venue. Personally and professionally, I felt a combination of being restless, stuck, and perhaps, out of love. During that time I was asked to perform at a fundraiser in Orlando, Florida, where I was living. When I showed up, a gracious host opened the door to welcome me. She was magnetic, kind, beautiful, cool as hell, and little did I know–the person who would wind up being my wife.
The next several months were filled with heartbreak and pain, as I left for tour, and ended a nearly decade long relationship when I got back. Feeling low and in mourning, I was also experiencing the budding of this new friendship. It grew alongside my pain, and I knew in the back of my mind it was meant to be deeper.
The girl from the fundraiser.
We started to fall in love, but some nights I would turn over and sob–flashing back to the break-up, feeling guilty for the immense pain I’d caused, and then crying for putting her through this (“Damn love, new love is supposed to be a party, sorry I know this wasn’t in the plan–I’ll cry as quiet as I can.”). It’s all an apology and thank you letter to her.
Those nights she would suggest I take time for myself to heal. She understood the pain I was in, and didn’t judge me for it, as confusing as it could have been for her, coupled with the fact that she and I were falling in love–our morning.
I would stay up late writing streams of consciousness in my iPhone notes, or journal (which is where this song stemmed from). It was my catharsis during that era…quietly processing the end of something, while desperately wanting to honor this new, big, beautiful beginning.
In April 2018, my ex was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident. Mourning took on a meaning I’d never known before. That following month, I wrote “Morning, Mourning” with two friends, after we all realized we had shared in some experience of this duality. It was only then when I’d had enough space and time to look back and articulate it in a song. Writing it began the healing process for me, and will always serve as a snap shot of that time –and the very human experience of it all–the ups and the downs, the guilt, and the forgiveness.