It’s rare, but occasionally those (un)lucky enough to be in the news can say something truly surprising, making publicists shudder and fans recoil—or sometimes rejoice. Carry on for the most brazen, stupefying and surprising quotes from the week of October 11. Reading between the lines isn’t necessary.
The Hubris of Mr. West
“I’m not running for office, I’m just here to make good music, make people feel good… For me, I’m a creative genius and there’s no other way to word it, and I know you’re not supposed to say those things about yourself.” —Kanye West, during his stone-faced interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live
Michele’s Miley Moment
“No, I’ve never done twerking in my life and I don’t intend to take it up.” —Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann, responding to Cyrus’ Saturday Night Live parody
God Bless the Thighmaster
“What is it about men at 4 in the morning? And then I’m really awake around 8 or so. We have busy mornings.” —Suzanne Somers, 66, after revealing she and her husband have sex “a couple of times a day”
No Need to Save Julian a Seat
“By meeting with you, I would validate this wretched film and endorse the talented, but debauched, performance that the script will force you to give.” —WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, politely refusing a face-to-face with actor Benedict Cumberbatch, who plays him in the new film The Fifth Estate
Ah, So This Is Accidental Racism?
“Why aren’t there blacks in swimming? Because they don’t have the buoyancy. Is gymnastics becoming the same thing, to the point of wanting to be colored?” —David Ciaralli, the spokesman for an Italian gymnastics federation, fails PR 101 after U.S. gymnast Simone Biles became the first black all-around world champion.
Thicke Skull
“I told [Robin], ‘You’re a power couple now. If you only adopt a few Ethiopian kids, you’d be the next Brangelina.'” —Proud papa Alan Thicke, doling out parenting advice to his son, Robin
Al Roker Would Never
“My cat threw up, and I must have stepped in it and that’s what I ate.” —Hartford TV weatherman Scot Haney, after mistaking cat vomit for Grape Nuts—and eating it on air
